I listen to the pleas, "Mommy, he took my toy, Mommy, she won't let me have any covers," and they continue endlessly. I cannot disappear under the covers and wish the behavior to disappear. I mumble something about needing more sleep and I wonder if I hide in the bathroom long enough, just until the bickering is done - would that work. But, they always find me, somehow. . . someway their little internal tracking devices find me.
Should this be a reminder to me that even God can find us in our deepest, darkest hiding places - no closet is off limits to the Holy Spirit who indwells inside of us.
So, how do I find "Peace," that quiet moment when time and space seem to stand still and my eyes are open to the whole world around me. . . When through all the clouds and murky waters I find inner, calm, peace in this chaotic life that God has chosen for me?
Peace certainly doesn't happen with that first cup of tea, or for me, the first cup of soda, loaded with extra caffeine. It doesn't happen either when I tune a deaf ear to the growing character issues that need to be dealt with in our house.
“Peace is the deliberate adjustment of my life to the will of God.”
Peace comes when God's strength, The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace. Psalm 29:11, overtakes my weaknesses. Peace comes when I remember that my life is PEACE with God in it!
So, I close my eyes, sit in my favorite spot of the morning, say a quick prayer, take one step at a time, correct the unruly behavior and yield my will to God's will. These children are my responsibility - not a distraction - one to be ignored - but rather all else is the distraction around me to the peace that God wants me to experience in raising these little ones. Why else would Job tell us, “Yield now and be at peace with Him; Thereby good will come to you. " Job 22:21
The sun peaks out from behind the clouds and I realize that while I don't have everything figured out, the chaos has passed for the time being and I will make it - I will experience ultimate peace one day - the day that I return to be with the Lord. God speaks to my heart today and for the time being I am being molded and guided along this journey. So for today, I can count my way through the many gifts received that give me peace beyond understanding.
# 209 - 228
* reading moments with daughters
* the boy throwing rocks at a laundry pole and laughing hysterically for no reason
* coupon savings that add up to a huge stockpile
* more teenagers to raise
* a cat taking a morning bath in the bird bath
* new flowers planted in hopes of beautiful blooms for next year
* weeding the same beds over again. . . how stubborn those weeds are just like our sin
* two bright yellow skirts sewn in hopes that the sun would take notice
* new rhubarb plants for next year
* focused on knowing God and infusing that into my children
* homeschool field trips
* his hand reaching for mine in the dark
* happy, contented little girl waiting for sisters at ballet, sandwiched between two bean bag chairs reading a book
* peaceful music playing in the background
* little boy good-bye's to Daddy
* breath to blow over hot muffins
* shoes by the kitchen sink to put by the back door one more time