I'm not perfect

When I Say I am a Christian

by Carol Wimmer

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost"
That is why I chose this way.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are all too visible,
But God believes I'm worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
Which is why I speak His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.


This beautiful poem came out of a book I read recently and I wanted to share it.  It is a heartwarming celebration of God through two women from vastly different lives, but through the grace of God, had their lives and hearts interwoven together.  I find myself intrigued by the Amish way of life - simply put - they live the simple life.  Their's is a way of life with no distractions, no information overload, no technological advances. . .  just simplicity.  They live off the land, cherish their family, work together in harmony and constantly give thanks to God for all of His provisions.  I thoroughly enjoyed the book and the humorous tales told by the two women.  What I found was that through their stories and life experiences they share a kindred spirit to the way they live life.   What interesting books do you have on your shelf?

Serve One Another with Love

I Corninthians 13: 4 -7

 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love seems to be missing in our normally quiet home.  Tensions are high and bickerings are abounding as we shuffle from activity to activity during this busy holiday season.  I am currently reading The Ministry of Motherhood, by Sally Clarkson and she touches on this topic of making sure our children understand that loving one another is one of many things they need to be trained for.  She brings her readers right to this passage. 

Loving one another does not come naturally, just put two toddlers together in a room with one toy and see what happens - our nature is inherently wicked - not inherently good as most would like to tell us.  Perhaps that is why we are constantly reminded in the Bible,  Romans 3:10      As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one 

So, whether I have to read this verse to the littles or the olders have to write it over and over, we will learn that love is kind and we are called to be loving towards one another as Christ, our ultimate example, was to us.

Galatians 2:20      I have been  crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but  Christ lives in me; and  the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in  the Son of God, who  loved me and  gave Himself up for me.    
 

D is for Dinosaur

 

This fall there is much to be accomplished

School to be done

Apples to be harvested

Preschool lessons - we are on letter D

canning to be put up

sickness throughout the entire clan

noses to be wiped and

sore throats to be cared for

For everything there is a season

Eccelsiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

We have been having the most

glorious days this last week, with

temperatures into the mid 70's - (almost unheard of for Northern California)

Early in the morning, before we are barely done with devotions,

the girls and Georgie are outside riding their bicycles

enjoying every moment of sunshine.

From my favorite spot of the morning

I capture their smiles. . . joy overflowing.

I relax more these days, realizing

there will be many months ahead of long days with nothing but rain,

 -  endless rain.

But honestly, I can easily get overly wrapped up in the tasks

 that I'm not accomplishing

I need to constantly remind myself to enjoy each and everyday

 regardless of the tasks at hand

We can live simply in this complicated life

through Christ's strength all of the tasks that need to be done, will get done

It's moments like these that I need to remember

Jesus's words to Martha, "Martha, Martha, thou art anxious and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needful, and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. - Luke 10"

So when the little ones are into everything

and you are sure nobody is learning anything

the messes around you keep piling up

the days seem never-ending

and the tasks keep on mounting

throw yourself at your Father's feet and allow His strength to carry you through

Tomorrow is another day

Enjoy today and live every moment cherishing what God has blessed you with.

Peace in a chaotic life

It starts early in the morning, the bickering between each of these five children God has entrusted me to raise.  Even before I've had a moment to wrap my head around getting up or out of bed, the fuzz still clouding my eyes from staying up too late again. 



I listen to the pleas,  "Mommy, he took my toy,  Mommy, she won't let me have any covers," and they continue endlessly.   I cannot disappear under the covers and wish the behavior to disappear.  I mumble something about needing more sleep and I wonder if I hide in the bathroom long enough, just until the bickering is done - would that work.    But, they always find me, somehow. . . someway their little internal tracking devices find me.


Should this be a reminder to me that even God can find us in our deepest, darkest hiding places - no closet is off limits to the Holy Spirit who indwells inside of us.

So, how do I find "Peace," that quiet moment when time and space seem to stand still and my eyes are open to the whole world around me. . . When through all the clouds and murky waters I find inner, calm, peace in this chaotic life that God has chosen for me?

Peace certainly doesn't happen with that first cup of tea, or for me, the first cup of soda, loaded with extra caffeine.  It doesn't happen either when I tune a deaf ear to the growing character issues that need to be dealt with in our house.

“Peace is the deliberate adjustment of my life to the will of God.”

Peace comes when God's strength,  The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace. Psalm 29:11, overtakes my weaknesses.  Peace comes when I remember that my life is PEACE with God in it!

So, I close my eyes, sit in my favorite spot of the morning, say a quick prayer, take one step at a time, correct the unruly behavior and yield my will to God's will.  These children are my responsibility - not a distraction - one to be ignored - but rather all else is the distraction around me to the peace that God wants me to experience in raising these little ones.  Why else would Job tell us, “Yield now and be at peace with Him; Thereby good will come to you. "  Job 22:21



The sun peaks out from behind the clouds and I realize that while I don't have everything figured out, the chaos has passed for the time being and I will make it - I will experience ultimate peace one day - the day that I return to be with the Lord.  God speaks to my heart today and for the time being I am being molded and guided along this journey.  So for today, I can count my way through the many gifts received that give me peace beyond understanding.

# 209 - 228

* reading moments with daughters
* the boy throwing rocks at a laundry pole and laughing hysterically for no reason
* coupon savings that add up to a huge stockpile
* more teenagers to raise
* a cat taking a morning bath in the bird bath
* new flowers planted in hopes of beautiful blooms for next year
* weeding the same beds over again. . .  how stubborn those weeds are just like our sin
* two bright yellow skirts sewn in hopes that the sun would take notice
* new rhubarb plants for next year
* focused on knowing God and infusing that into my children
* homeschool field trips
* his hand reaching for mine in the dark
* happy, contented little girl waiting for sisters at ballet, sandwiched between two bean bag chairs reading a book
* peaceful music playing in the background
* little boy good-bye's to Daddy
* breath to blow over hot muffins
* shoes by the kitchen sink to put by the back door one more time

My blinders are on

I hear Pastor preaching on Sunday, about having blinders on.   Does anyone else hear the lesson he is teaching, or is he just talking directly to me?    I try to look away, but I hear him anyhow.

It is that point where we have begun to focus on something so hard . . .  that thing that WE want, but is it of God?  Does God want it in our lives . . . .  is it part of His will for us?

But, I really, really want it, you say, and I deserve it - God should grant it to me because I have been praying about it for so long.

Sitting there, I realize that I have been so easily distracted by analyzing others "blinders" that I forgot to take a look at my own.  It's times like these that God is taking us out of our comfort zone - to give us a gift - a place where we can lean on Him and know Him more intimately - something we would never do in our comfort zone.

I struggle to concentrate on the sermon, yet my mind wanders to my blinders. . . . the one thing that consumes my thoughts daily. 



My arms are so full, yet empty at the same time - I can feel the blinders around my eyes - wanting, struggling with a selfish desire to hold another little one, to smell the sweet baby "smell," to hear the baby babbles, to see the toothless smiles. . .  .  To beat the "clock" that is ticking away on my child bearing days.  That somehow, just one more child would complete my life. 

He's almost two now and he is still my baby, but reality sets in. . . he is not going to be for much longer.  What if he is the last and I never have anymore blessings - any more gifts - Children are a gift from the Lord and I want my arms so full of them!

But with these blinders I have closed myself off to God's will - it's as if I've told Him that His way is NOT sufficient or good enough for my liking.

So I come to Him, heavy hearted, repentive of my blinders - counting the gifts that I have, reminding myself to wait upon the Lord. . . Psalm 27:14  Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.   My blinders need to be removed if I am to see my gifts.

Counting gifts is about gratitude -  and I need to count these hard things too.

#190 - #198

two more baby chicks born, including one incredibly fuzzy yellow one

tendrils of curls outlining Abby's face because her hair is finally growing back from twisting it off so many times

little ones arms wrapped around my neck playing with my hair clips or twirling "myz hair"

the sound of snow falling, having it change to hail and then back again to snow

snowflakes and daffodils

cold, really cold days spent wrapped up inside

hundreds of sweet little birds landing on fences, building nests and laying eggs

a furnace that is working

patience - it is a constant struggle to attain

removing my blinders

Baby Chicks

Last week I believe I told you about our three newest baby chicks, but I did not post pictures of them.  One is two weeks old and the other two are one week old as of Saturday.  I am so thankful that the Lord saw fit to give us two more babies after the first one because I was afraid she was going to be so lonely.




It was such a fun experience to watch the chick peck her way out of the shell.  Those shells are very hard, so I know she must have worked long and hard during that journey. 

What a truth to perserverence that little chick showed us.  She never once complained, "This is too hard, I think I'll quit now."  She didn't give up, she just kept on pecking away until the shell finally broke free. 

We too need to peck away at the tasks we have laid before us.  God will never give us more than we can handle.  He never once told us that life would always be easy, filled with simple tasks.  He tells us life will be filled with challenges and we are to persevere through them. 

I look around, close my eyes and constantly remind myself that this time my circumstances will never be more than I can handle - He is with me - He is with me.  And then I'll need to do that all over for the next circumstance.

A friend recently shared this beautiful verse with me and I think it shows us the blessing that God will give to us when we persevere.

I Corinthians 15:58  Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Nothing we do is in vain, when it is done for the Lord.  Perhaps this needs to be on a sticky note somewhere near my mind every moment of the day. . .

I have a secret. . .

She whispers in my ear, ever so silently . . . . . .

"I have a seekwet . . . . . I love Jesus."

How I love to watch my children grow in their faith!

The wearer of many hats

Women today wear so many hats, from chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, seamstress, diaper changer, gardener, nose wiper, nurse, doctor, story teller, teacher, entrepreneur, snuggler, tear wiper, shoulder to lean on, it's a wonder we can keep it all straight.  It reminds me of the Proverbs 31 woman and the many character traits that she exhibits.




Proverbs 31:10 - 31
A worthy woman who can find? For her price is far above rubies.   The heart of her husband trusteth in her, And he shall have no lack of gain.   She doeth him good and not evil All the days of her life.   She seeketh wool and flax, And worketh willingly with her hands.   She is like the merchant-ships; She bringeth her bread from afar.  
She riseth also while it is yet night, And giveth food to her household, And their task to her maidens.   She considereth a field, and buyeth it; With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.   She girdeth her loins with strength, And maketh strong her arms.   She perceiveth that her merchandise is profitable: Her lamp goeth not out by night.  
She layeth her hands to the distaff, And her hands hold the spindle.  She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.   She is not afraid of the snow for her household; For all her household are clothed with scarlet.  She maketh for herself carpets of tapestry; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, When he sitteth among the elders of the land.  She maketh linen garments and selleth them, And delivereth girdles unto the merchant.   Strength and dignity are her clothing; And she laugheth at the time to come.   She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And the law of kindness is on her tongue. 
She looketh well to the ways of her household, And eateth not the bread of idleness.   Her children rise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her, saying:  Many daughters have done worthily, But thou excellest them all.  Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; But a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised.   Give her of the fruit of her hands; And let her works praise her in the gates. 
One verse always stands out to me:   She looketh well to the ways of her household, And eateth not the bread of idleness.   Her children rise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her, saying:  Many daughters have done worthily

With all that she does, how would she ever have the time to be lazy or idle, but thankfully, ours is not a works based  reward system.  God does not reward us according to how much we accomplish on this list, but rather that we are looking to this list with joy to "wear our many hats" with a sweet, loving joy every day - looking well to the ways of our household.  May you enjoy wearing your many hats today! 

Give your children and husband a kiss and a hug and tell them how blessed you are to have them in your life. . . . . .
Blessings,
Michelle